Conversation 4

E: What are you doing here? Hello. Is there someone. Is there someone, I ask?

M: Who are you?

B: Yes, who are you?

E: Ah, who am I! Who are you! What are you doing here!

M: Who are you?

E: I don’t ask. I will not say it. Who are you. Ha, ha.

M: Who are you?

E: Do you know yourselves who you are. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

M: Who are you?

E: (in itself) Who are you. Who are you.

M: Do you come on behalf of God?

E: What do you say?

M: Do you come on behalf of God?

E: Who is that? I don’t know him. I don’t want to know him. I don’t want to here anything from him.

M: What are you doing here then?

E: Silence. Silence. No. No. No. No. I want to see what you are doing. Ha, you don’t have an answer. You don’t even know what you are doing. Ha, ha.

M: What are you doing?

E: Ha, what are you doing. What are you doing, ha, ha, ha.

W: What are you looking for here?

E: What I am looking for, friend. I don’t know.

W: Are you looking for love?

E: Love, is a word, that I don’t know.

C: Are you looking for light?

E: No. No!

C: Why not?

E: No, no.

C: Light can bring you further.

E: What. What! (Mocking) Light can bring you further. No one can help me further. No one wants to help me. I have heard it so often. They won’t.

W: We want to help you.

E: That is not possible.

W: You came to us to be helped.

E: I don’t believe that. I don’t belief that. I don’t belief that. I don’t belief that.

W: Look around you.

E: No.

W: Open your eyes.

E: No, no, no. I don’t want to.

W: You came to us for love and light. You came to us for support and we want to give you that.

E: But why? What is your gain? You don’t even know me. You don’t even know me.

W: We want to help you.

E: (angry) Yes, but why, why? Why then? It is not possible. No one ever wanted to help me. No one helped me. No one wants to help me. You cannot either. Why should you? You don’t even know me. You don’t even know me. How can you help me then? It is not possible.

W: We see your situation and we want to help you. Look around you and open your eyes and look what stand around you. Look good around you. What do you see. Light. Love. Look who stands beside you. Who do you recognise? Do you recognise the love? Do you recognise the light?

E: Don’t. Don’t (cries).

W: Look around you. Recognise the love. Look who stands next to you?

E: Non one (sad).

W: Do you see the light?

E: No

W: Open your eyes.

E: No. I dare not.

W: Please do.

E: No.

W: Everything that surrounds you now is love and light. Look around you. Who stands next to you. Look. Look around you. Recognise the light.

E: What is that? There! There! There! Look. :Look.

W: The light?.

E. What is that?

W: It is coming to you.

E: Yes, but why?

W: It is coming to fetch you.

E: Yes, but why?

W: They are coming to fetch you and they are coming to give you support, love and light.

E: Yes, but why? Explain that to me. Why?

W: You are a soul which is wandering, which did not make a choice. That is why you are so unhappy.

E: What do you know about my unhappiness?

W: I see it on you. Let it go. Look around you and let this beamof love and light enter you. Do you see anyone standing with you?

E: No.

W: Open you eyes.

E: No. I am afraid.

W: You are afraid. Please know that from now on you will be supported in love and light. Look around you Look at everything which surrounds you in light and recognise the harmony and piece within you.

E: I see flowers.

W: Wonderful. Do you recognise the warmth?

E: I see flowers. I have not seen them for such a long time. What Hè? How can that be? How can that be?

W: Can you see some one next to you?

E: I see flowers. Flowers (mocking). Flowers. Flowers (crying).

W: Beautiful flowers. Flowers, a sign of love.

E: They smell so nice (sad).

W: Look at the light, will you.

E: I always had flowers at home. I loved flowers (sad). I loved flowers. Flowers are so vulnerable.

W: Please look around you and look who stands next to you. Look at the light which surrounds you now.

E: I see trees. Trees. Trees. Trees (mocking). How can that be. I am already her so long and (sad) I never see trees. I never see flowers and now I do. How can that be?

W: You are slowly taken up in Gods’ glory.

E: God? Who is that?

W: God is all the love, all the light.

E: I don’t know any God. I don’t know any God.

W: Look up.

E: No.

W: Look to the light. Look at everything that embraces you now.

E: You confuse me. You just confuse me and when I leave later, it will be gone. You are fooling me.

W: It will always stay with you if you reach for it. Reach out for the light.

E: I want a flower (sad). I don’t want light. I just want a flower.

W: Reach out for the light and every flower will be given to you. Reach out for the light and your hand will be grabbed and you will be taken up into eternal light with eternally flowers around you.

E: Always?

W: Always.

E: How can that be?

W: Please take the step.

E: They won’t die?

W: They will never die. They will embrace you forever.

E: Flowers wilt (sad). You put them in a vase and they wilt. After a few days they are dead.

W: These flowers will never wilt. These flowers are flowers of love and light. Give yourself a chance, reach out for the light in which you will be taken up. Please take that step to return to the light.

E: Who are you?

W: I want to help you.

E: But, why are you talking like that?

W: I really want to help you, because I know you are in need.

E: Yes, but why then? I don’t know it. Why do you know?

W: Because we all love you.

E: How can that be? You don’t even know me. How can you love some one you don’t know. You cannot even love some one you know. Even that is not possible. Because if you do, they will let you down. Then they leave and you are left alone and (sad) I don’t want to be alone anymore.

W: You will never be alone anymore if you reach for the light. You will always feel at home. Always.....

E: I don’t even have a home.

W: This will be your new home. This will be your new home, where you will be. Where you will be at home always.....

E: Are you giving me a house? A, a real house, in which I can live?

W: Where you can live with flowers around you and where you will find warmth. You will receive it all from God.

E: I don’t know me and you are just giving me a house?

W: You don’t get it from me, you get if from God. You only have to reach your hand to him.

E: I don’t understand! You say I will get a house and then you say that I will get if from God. Ha, ha, (mocking) God. How can that be.

W: There you will ....... the love .....

E: I almost believed you. I almost believed you. That you said: “You will get a house.” Well a house, I am up to that. For I am wandering here already for so long without a house, even without chairs. I cannot even find a bed. I just lie here on the ground. That is cold and that is hard.

W: Do you want to change that?

E: Why don’t you say anything?

W: Do you want to change that?

E: Why aren’t you talking?

B: We don’t talk, because our brother is very capable telling you.

E: (putting a hand before his mouth) He is lying, hè? He lies, hè?

B: Why?

E: I just don’t believe it. I just don’t believe it. Because it is all false talk. For if I step into that house, it will be suddenly gone, or something like that. I am on to him. Sstt. I am on to him. Sstt. Sstt. Sstt. Don’t tell. I am on to him.

W: It will always be there for you. You will always feel at home.

E: That is impossible.

B: Why don’t you try. Why don’t you try?

E: Hè? Try? Yes, but, if I step inside and it is suddenly gone. Then I will have nothing again.

W: Now you don’t have nothing too. You have nothing to loose, you can only win.

E: Yes but, how do you know that? How can you know that?

W: That is the way it is.

E: You simply cannot know, joh.

W: You have nothing to loose, so you can run the risk. It is the only certainty, which you will discover after that. Please accept this from us. You will be surrounded by love. You will always feel at home, with flowers around you. Always home.

E: (surprised exclamation) I see my father!

A: You see.

E: I see my father! How is that possible! How is that possible!

W: He comes from the light and he comes to fetch you.

E: I called him so often. He was always angry. He did not come.

W: He is coming to fetch you now.

E: No.

W: He will bring you home. Give him a hand.

E: It is impossible.

W: Don’t you want to go with your father?

E: I don’t know. I called him so often and he did not came.

W: He comes now to fetch you. Give him a hand.

E: He will just leave later, joh.

W: With you.

E: Then I am alone again and I have to wait for a long time.

C: He will take you. Give him your hand.

B: Reach your hand out to him.

E: It is not possible.

B: Of course it is.

W: Give hime a hand.

B: Why is it impossible.

E: I don’ know (whispers) but if he lets go of me?

W: He will never let go of you.

E: Then I fall down.

W: Never again.

E: Then I will fall so deep down and then I will have to climb up again. I already climb so many times. My arms are so tired. I don’t want to climb anymore.

W: He will not let go and will take you to the light where you will always be at home.

E: Yes, but.

W: Just take the step.

E: Yes, but.

W: No longer "yes but".

E: I, I killed him.

W: Doesn’t matter, he has love and comes to fetch you.

E: I actually, sstt, I killed him.

W: He comes to fetch you out of love.

E: That is really bad, when you kill your own father.

W: He has forgiven you and comes to fetch you. He comes.

E: Isn’t he angry with me?

W: No.

E: But you must be angry then, when someone kills you, you must be angry?

W: No, not anymore.

E: Oh, is, is .....

W: Is he with you?

E: I, I can see him.

W: Just give him ..... Ask him to come to you.

E: (whispers) No, if he is angry ......

W: He isn’t angry. He only loves you very much.

E: (whispers) That cannot be when you kill someone, you cannot love him? That is so bad when you just kill someone. Someone who is alive and you just kill him, and then even your own father! That is not right.

W: Listen. He calls you. Go to him. He calls you and he wants to go to the light with you, where you will always feel at home. Take the step.

E: (whispers) He says: Sjon, Sjon.

W: Go to him.

E: You mustn't be angry, hé.

W: He is not angry.

E: Because then I won’t go.

W: I am not angry.

E: And, and has my father a house?

W: Your father has a house!

E: May I alive with my father?

W: You may live with your father.

E: And he doesn’t throw me out?

W: Never.

E: (angry) Yet if you lie to me! If you still lie! Mind you. Mind you. I don’t want anyone lying to me again. I lied myself so much, and it isn’t fair, you know. I isn’t fair. You tell something to someone. Then you act as if it isn’t true and that isn’t so. That is stupid. I learned from that. I have been thinking, you know. All these years, all these years, I don’t know for how long I have been thinking. Because it is wrong to lie. You should not lie. It is stupid. You only harm yourself. Then you end up in a dark pit in which you always have to climb out of and you don’t. But it is my own fault. I know.

W: And that is behind you now.

E: (whispers) I know it is my own fault. I did it myself. I should not have lied and I certainly should not have killed him. Oh, what a regret I have that I killed my own father. I wish I never did it (sad).

W: And now he is her to give you love. Go to him. Give him your hand and walk towards the light. Will you?

E: Shall, shall, shall I try it?

W: You will never regret it.

E: He won’t kill me still?

W: He won’t hurt you. He only loves you.

E: Oh no, that is not possible anymore, hè? I am dead already. That is not even possible hè? I am ... I think I am dead, hè?

W: You have nothing to fear. You can only now expect love and light.

E: I am dead boys! I, I, I am ..... (whispers) Didn’t I therefore see anyone else? Could not find my friends?

B: Indeed

W: And now your dad is here.

E: (deep sigh)

W: Just go.

E: I cannot run anymore. My legs are too tired.

W: Then walk slowly. Go to your dad.

C: Give him a hand.

W: Go to the light. Well done. Well done. Ok.